hindi joke shayari

Ice Cream Tu Bahut Nirali,
Thandi Mithi Swad Mein Aali,
Dekh Tujhe Man Lalchata Hai,
Muh Mein Pani Aa Jata Hai,
Jeebh Turant Bahar Aa Jaaye,
Bin Khaye Fir Rah Na Paayein ,
Kon Charon Aur Ghumati,
Chaat Chaat Kar Khoob Ghumti,
Sapne Bhi Bas Tere Aayein,
Iitni Mere Dil Ko Bhaaye.

Pani Aane Ki Baat Karte Ho,
Dil Jalane Ki Baat Karte Ho,
Char Din Se Muh Nahi Dhoya,
Tum Nahane Ki Baat Karte Ho.

Koi Pathar Se Na Maare Mere Deevane Ko,
Koi Pather Se Na Maare Mere Deevane Ko,
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nuclear Power Ka Zamana Hai,
Bom Se Uda Do Saale Ko.

Sishe Se Shisha Takraaye Jo Bhi Ho Anjaam,
Sishe Se Shisha Takraaye Jo Bhi Ho Anjaam,
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jai Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram
Jai Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram

Ajib Si Kasish Hai Tum Mein,
Ki Hum Tumhare Khayalon Mein Khoye Rahte Hain,

Yeh Sochkar Ke Tum Khayalon Mein Aaoge,
Hum Din Raat Soye Rahte Hain.

Apni Surat Ka Kabhi Toh Deedar De,
Tadap Raha Hun Ab Aur Intezaar Na De,
Apni Aawaz Nahi Sunani Toh Mat Suna,
Kam Se Kam Ek Miss Call Hi Mar De.

Jise Dil Diya Woh Delhi Chali Gayi,
Jis Se Pyar Kiya Woh Itli Chali Gayi,

Dil Ne Kaha Khudkhusi Kar Le Jaalim,
Bijli Ko Haath Lagay Toh Bijli Chali Gayi.

School Ke Paas Hamesha Drive Slow Ka,
Board Hamesha Laga Rahta Hai,

Lekin Ladkiyon Ke College Ke Paas,
Kabhi Bhi Nahi, Aisa Kyu ?

Kyuni Wahan Par Toh,
Ghadiya Apne Aap Slow Ho Jati Hai.

Zindagi Be-Haal Hai,
Sur Hai Na Taal Hai,

Message Box Bhi Kangal Hai,
Kya Aapki Sms Factory Mein Hadtaal Hai,

Yaar Kuchh Toh Bhejo,
Yeh Mere Mobile Ki Zindagi Ka Sawal Hai.

Sms Bhejne Ka Nahi Tha Shok Hamein,
Teri Yaad Ne Mobile Pakda Diya,

Message Likhte Likhte Space Khatam Huyi,
Humne Overwrite Allowed Chala Diya,

Mere Yaar Sms Ka Reply Dena,
Humne Apna Farj Nibha Diya.

Kaun Sa Gham Hai Jo Yeh Haal Bana Rakha Hai,
Na Toh Makeup Hai, Na Baalon Ko Saja Rakha Hai,

Khamkha Chhedti Rahti Hai Yeh Rukhsaron Ko,
Tumne Julfon Ko Bahut Sar Pe Chada Rakha Hai.

Main Tere Aane Ka Intejar Karunga
Tu Jaha Jaigi Main Tere Sath Rahunga
Tu Jab Mujhe Yad Karegi Mai Tere Paas Aaunga
Ye Dosti Mai Marte Dum Tak Nibhata Rahunga
Aur Na Nibha Saka To Main
Tere Hath Kisi Aur Ke Hath Me Dekar Jaunga.

Aapki Chaal Mor Jaise,
Aawaz Koyal Jaise,

Dimag Lomdi Jaise,
Aankhen Hiran Jaise,

Par Kitna Acchha Hota,
Agar 2-3 Quality Insano Jaise Hoti.

Julfo Me Foolo Ko Saja Ke Aayi Hai,
Chehare Se Dupatta Utha Ke Aayi Hai,
Kisi Ne Puchha Aaj Badi Khubsurat Lag Rahi Ho,
Mane Kaha Shayad Aaj Naha Ke Aayi Hai.

Hum Aaj Bhi Dil Ka Aashiyana Sajane Se Darte Hai,
Baagon Mein Phool Khilaney Se Darte Hai,
Hamari Ek Pasand Se Tut Jaayeinge Hazaaro Dil,
Tabhi Toh Hum Aaj Bhi Girl friend Bananey Se Darte Hai.

Kya Mausam Aaya Hai,
Har Taraf Pani Hi Pani Laya Hai,
Ek Jadu Sa Chhaya Hai,
Tum Ghar Se Bahar Mat Niklna,
Warna Log Kahenge Barsat Hui Nahi,
Aur Mendhak Nikal Aaya Hai.

Aaj Kuchh Sharmaye Se Lagte Ho,
Sardi Ke Karan Kapkapaye Se Lagte Ho,
Chehra Aapka Khil Utha Hai,
Hafte Ke Baad Nahaye Se Lagte Ho

Lab Khamosh Ho Jate Hain,
Jab Tum Samne Aate Ho,
Dil Dhadkta Hain Jab Nigahe Milate Ho,
Saans Rukti Hain Jab Tum Muskarate Ho,
Dil Kamjor Hain Mera,
Itna Kyo Darate Ho.

Zindagi lambi hai dost banate raho,
Dil mile na mile haath milate raho,
Taj Mahal banaana toh bahut costly hoga,
Par har gali mai ek Mumtaz banate raho

Dost ruthe to rab ruthe,
fir ruthe to jag chhute,
agar fir ruthe dil tute,
aur agar fir ruthe?
nikal danda..
maar sale ko jab tak danda na tute

Zindgi Ki Har Ek Udaan Baaki Hai,
Har Mod Par Ek Imtihan Baki Hai,
Abhi To Sirf Aap Hi Pareshan Hai Mujhse,
Abhi To Pura Hindustan Baaki Hai ?

Jis ladki k chehre par aaj kal naqab hota hai,
Wo naqab ashiq k liye azab hota hai,
Mat marna naqab wali ladki pe mere dost,
Khubsurat packing me maal aksar kharab hota hai.

Dil ki dharkanen ruk c gayi hain,
Saanse meri tham c gai hain,
Pucha humne dil k doctor se to pata chala
Es dil me aapki yaaden.. Sardi ki wajah se jam c gai.

दिल की धड़कन रुक सी गई,
सांसें मेरी थम सी गई,
पूछा हमने दिल के डॉक्टर से तो पता चला,
कि सर्दी के कारण आपकी यादें दिल में जम सी गई।

Charon taraf hai faili moonlite,
Machhar bhi dene ko betaab hai aapko luvbite,
Takiye ko gale laga ke sone ka tight,
Bole to wo sweet dreams wala ‘Good Night’

Neend jub mujhey aaghosh main laiti hai,
Aapka chehra nigahoon mein bus jaata hai,
ek dum say meri aankh khul jaati hai,
Dil se bay sakhta yeh awaaz aati hai,
.
.
.
.
.
“AMMI BHOOT”

Kamar jitni bhi patli ho maza utna nasheela hai,
Chalega jo bhi ho aankhon ka rang kala ya neela hai,
Ishq k naam pe kerte sabhi ab RASLEELA hai,
Main karun to saala character dheelaa hai.

Koi gham nahi magar dil udas hai,
Tujh se koi rishta nahi phir bhi ehsaas hai,
Kehne ko bohut apnay magar tu ek khas hai,
Zyada emotional na hona uper sub bakwas hai.

Arz kiya he
Tere pyar ke saaye ne mujhe aisa pyasa banaya,
.
wah wah
.
Tere pyar ke saaye ne mujhe aisa pyasa banaya,
.
wah wah
.
Tu 2 min ruk.. mein pani pi ke aaya.

Arz kiya he:
Dil Logi ya jaan logi !!!
.
wah wah
.
Dil Logi ya jaan logi !!!
.
wah wah
.
Meri jaan set hone me kitna time logi 

Engineering College Student:

Rehne Ki Yahan Sabki Aukat Nahi Hoti,
Bina Beer Aur Daaru Ke Yahan Raat Nahi Hoti,
Ye Engineering College Hai Mere Dost,
Yahan Bina Maa Bahan Ke Baat Nahi Hoti.

Humare dil ne chaha tb-tb aap jaage the,
Humare dil ne chaha tb-tb aap jaage the,
Kyu ki wo hum hi the ..
Jo apke ghar ki ghanti bja k Bhaage the.

Ishq ki dukan hai meri,
Ishq le jaya karo,
Hum lete ni paise
Ishq k bdle ..
Bus ek kiss de jaya karo.

Dhup Me Chamakti Profile Hai,
Sabse Aalag Tera Style Hai,
Kya Ada Hai Kya Smile Hai,
Naak Pochhne Ki Akal Nahi,
Aur Hath Me Mobile Hai.

Salam Arz Hai,
Jawab Karz Hai,
Dena Farz Hai,
Na Dena Marz Hai,
Na Koi Garz Hai,
Bas Itna Arz Hai,
Agar SMS Padhna Pasand Hai,
To BHEJNA Bhi Farz Hai…!

Bheegi huyi jindagi ki yahi kahani hai,
kuch bachpan se nalayak tha,
kuch ap sabaki meharbani hai.

Wo aaye mere dar pe,
khuda ki rahmat hai,
kabhi hum unko,
kabhi recycal bin ko dekhte hai.

India is nation and Dadar is station,
wha wha
India is nation and & dadar is station,
Do not fall in love, First complete your Education..!!

Kapde Silvane Ho To Dhund Lo Darji..

Wah Wah..

Ershad-Ershad..

Ki Kapde Silvane Ho To Dhund Lo Darji..
aur
Nangu pungu Ghumna Ho To, Aapki Marji!

Phone ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Balance rakhkar bhi log garib hote hai,
Khud to msg karte nahi hai,
Muft ke msg padhne ke kitne shauqin hote hai.

Aapko humse kabhi khone nahi denge,
aapko mujh se alag hone nahi denge,
kabhi sms bhi kar dia kro warna,
aankh mein mirchi dal denge aur dhone bhi nahi denge.

India ki reet
Ladki agar apni marzi se patjaye to pyar,
agar dost pata de to uphar,
agar gharwale le aaye to sanskar,
aur agar khud pata kar ghar leaao to hahakar.

Aapki bato pe dil haru
WAH! WAH!
Aapki surat pe jan waru
WAH! WAH!
Jis din nahi aata aap ka sms
dil karta hai aapko
patak-patak ke maru!

Na jaane kab koi taara toot jaaye,
Na jaane kab koi aansu aankh se chut jaaye,
Kuch pal hamare saath bhi has lo,
Na jaane kab tumhare daant toot jaaye..!

Teri khamoshi aur udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost,

.

.

.

.

Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne bataya
ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai!

CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye toh PAAON mein nahi aati,
Wah-Wah
CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye to PAAON mein nahi aati,
Aur GIRLFRND moti ho jaye to BAHON mein nahi aati

Phone mat kiya karo Dear,
Mom hoti hai near,
Papa se lagta hai fear
Baat bhi hoti nahi clear,
Isliye SMS karo Dear,
Witout fear & very clear.

Mohabbat karli tumse bahut sochne ke baad,
Ab kisiko dekna nhi tmhe dekhne ke baad,
Dunia chod denge tumhe pane ke baad,
Khuda maaf kare itna jhoot bolne Ke baad.

Hamne tumse pyar kiya abla samajh kar,
Tere baap ne mujhe peeta tabla samajh kar,
Maine tumse pyar kiya durga samajh kar,
Tere bhaiyo ne mujhe kaata murga samajh kar.

Aankho se aansuo ki judaai kar do,
Dil se ghamo ki vidaai kar do,
Agar dil na lagey kahin to,
Aa jaao mere ghar ki SAFAAi kar do..

Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya,
Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya,
Koma say jagey mareez ko permanent sula diya..

Udhar aap majabur baithey hain,
Idhar hum khamosh baithey hain,
Baat ho to kaise ho janab..
Jab dono taraf do kanjus baithey hain..

Student Shayari:
Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai,
Aaj fir principal se mar khai hai,
Sab kehte hai sudhar ja,
Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi hai.

Har safar mein aapka saath hum denge,
Apne pyar ki saugat hum denge,
Girne lage to hath hum denge,
aur
Na bhi gire to..
EK LAAT HUM DENGE

Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet,
wah wah!!
wah wah!!
Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet,
Mam may i go to toilet.

Teri dosti mein diwane ho gaye,
Tujhe apna banate-banate khud se begane ho gaye,
Pukar le pyar se ek baar mere dost,
Murgae ki aawaz sun ke zamane ho gaye.

Haath mein taaqat hai,
toh tajmahal ko hila kar dekh,
Warna aa baith ke do peg whiskey maar,
aur tajmahal ko hilta hua dekh..

Usne jo sher mara to wah wah ho gayi..
Usne jo sher mara to wah wah ho gayi..
Aur Maine jo sher mara toh..
toh
toh
Sherni widwa ho gayi..!!

Ek khawab ek khayal ek hakikat hai tu,
zindgi mein pane wali har zarurat hai tu,
jisko roz msg karne ko dil kare
are yaar vahi sweet si musibat hai tu.

Arz Kia Hai:
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Bhai Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Zara si tawajja plz

Bhai petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Kya irshaad farmaya hai,

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai
Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.

Pyar ki gadi mein kabhi petrol nahi hota,
pyar ke safar mein kabhi panchar nahi hota,
Pyar jivan ki aisi gadi hai jis mein…
Do se jayada passenger hona achha nahi hota.

Har khwab humesha sacha nahi hota,
bahut zyada pyaar bhi acha nahi hota,
kisi ko kum na samajna is duniya mein dost,
kyu ki har dudh peene wala bachcha nahi hota.

Wo aaj bhi is garmi mein marr rahi hai,
e-dosto
Jo maine use ek baar keh diya tha…
Tum is sweater mein katrina kaif lag rahi ho.

Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,
ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi,
aur
phool khilne se pahle bakri kha gayi.

Umar kya kahu kaafi nadan hai meri,
Has ke milna pehchan hai meri,
Apka Dil zakhmo se bhara ho to mujhe phone kiziye,
DILO ko Repair karne ki dukaan hai meri.

Zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,
wah wah..
zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,
phir..
phir kya

Ruk gayi hawa aur gir gaye aap.

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota,
Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota,
Aaj hamara bhi bank balance hota,
Agar DADA Aashiq na hota!

Baharo ful barsao mera dost aaya hai,
hotho pe muskan gali me mahak laya hai,
barso tak thi jise pani se allergy.
wo aaj lux se nahaya hai!

Zindgi mein sada muskurate raho,
fasle kam karo dil milate raho,
dard kaisa bhi ho koi gham na karo,
iodex khrido aur lagate raho.

Baagon mein phool khilte rahenge,
raat mein deepak jalte rahenge,
khudaa aapko saari khushiyaan de,
baaki takleef to hum dete hi rahenge.

Pucha mujh se chand sitaro ne,
Tujhe bhula diya tere jigri yaaro ne,
Maine muskurate huye kaha,
Bhul to nahi sakte kamine,
Bas lage honge kisi ko patane mein.

Dil mein khuda hai,
Ankho mein nasha hai,
Bato mein maza hai,
Chahat mein ada hai,
Andaz bhi juda hai,
Dosti mein wafa hai,
Arey yaar.. Isiliye to sari
duniya HUM par fida hai.

Arz kiya hai
Ankho main nami thi,
Aur vitamin ki kami thi..

Wah! Wah!

Jis se raat bhar chatting ki woh
girl friend ki mummy thi.

Jalte hue deepo ki tarah jagmagate rahna,
hamari dua hai sada muskrate rahna,
kitni bhi chappalen pade tumhe e mere bhai,
zindgi bhar aap ladkiya patate rahna.

Chicken aise pakao ke kaccha na ho..
Wah wah
Chicken aise pakao k kaccha na ho..
Aur
Mohabbat aise nibhao k baccha na ho!!

Arz kiya hai..
Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai,
Wah wah..
Gor farmaiye..
Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai,
Use jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada GDHA hai.

Aisi WANI boliye ki jamkar JHAGDA hoye,
Gour farmaye..!
Aisi wani boliye ki jamkar JHAGDA hoye,
Par usse na boliye jo aap se TAGDA hoye!

Cid ne sony se naata jod liya,
Cid ne sony se naata jod liya,
Jis room me mana raha tha abivjit suhagraat,
Daya ne uska darwaza hi tod diya.

Kehdo un padhne walon se,
Kabhi hum bhi padha kerte the,
Jitna syllabus padh k wo top kerte hain,
Utna to hum choice per chod dia kerte the.

Nazar mili jab wo akeli thi,
Dosti hui tab sath saheli thi,
Pyar huya to vo paheli thi,
Dusre ke sath bhag gai tab pata chala..
Wo us area ki CHIKNI CHAMELI thi.

Dil ke arman aansuo mein bah gaye,
Hum gali me the gali mein hi reh gaye,
Light chali gayi thi to…

.

.

.

Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unsi mummy se keh gaye

BF Ne GF Ki SaHeli Ki SHaaN Me
Arz Kia-
–
Tu SaWaL NaHi Ek PaHeLi Hai
–
Tu SaWaL NaHi Ek PaHeLi Hai
–
Meri ManZiL Tu NaHi
Teri SaHeLi Hai.

Pyaar Ke Geet Gayenge Hum,
Apni Ek Nayi Duniya Basaayenge Hum,
Jo In Hawaaon Se Diya Bujh Gaya,
Unhe Bech Kar Philips Ke Bulb Layenge Hum.

Zameen par wo mera naam likhte hai aur mitate hai,
Unka to timepass ho jata hai,
Kambhakt…
Mitti mein hum mil jate hai.

Har doori mitani padhti hai,
har baat btani padhti hai,
lagta hai dosto ke pass waqt hi nahi hai,
aaj kal
khud apni yaad dilaani padhti hai.

Dost ruthe to rab ruthe,
fir ruthe to jag chhute,
agar fir ruthe dil tute,
aur agar fir ruthe…!!!
nikal danda maar sale ko jab tak danda na tute.

Bhaiyo aur Only Bhaiyo,

Neend Nahi Aati Mujhe Tab Se,
.
.
.
.
.
Neend Nahi Aati Mujhe Tab Se,
.
.
.
.
.
5 Rupye Khoyehai Jab Se.

Dhadkan dil ki ruk jati hai,
Sanse aksar tham jati hai,
Bahut buri halat hoti hai yaaro,
Jab
Girlfriend se shadi karne ki naubat aati hai..!

Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se,
Kasam khuda ki madhosh ho gaye hum,
Par jab pata chala nazar parmanant tirchi hai,
To wahi khade-khade behosh ho gaye hum.

Dosti agar buri hai to hone mat do,
Ho gai to use khone mat do,
Aur agar dost ho sabse pyara to….
us dost ko chain ki neend sone mat do.

Arz Kiya hai..

Dil hai sachha aur dimaag hai Kachha,
Wah wah..
Dil hai sachha aur dimaag hai Kachha,
Wah wah..
Tere msgs nahi aa rahe kya baat hai Bachha.

Dil mein khuda hai,
Ankho mein nasha hai,
Bato mein maza hai,
Chahat mein ada hai,
Andaz bhi juda hai,
Dosti mein wafa hai,
Arey yaar.. Isiliye to sari
duniya HUM par fida hai.

Har zindagi pyar ki mohtaz nahi hoti…
or har safed imarat Taj nahi hoti,
Are pyar main marne walo kabhi yaari mein jikar dekho…
kyunki kalyug main koi ladki mumtaj nhi hoti…

Dooriyon ki na parwah kiya karo,
Jab dil chahe yaad kiya karo,
Dushman nahi hain dost hain hum aapke.
Mera sms na aaye to khud bhej diya karo!

Muqaddar mein rat ki…
neend nahi to kya hua,
Hum bhi muqaddar ko dhoka de kar…
din ko so jatay hain.

(‘,’)/ Oh my God
<) ( I am SO INTELLIGENT! _/ \_

Kisi ko apna banalo, ya kisi k ho jao,
agar kuch bhi nahi hota to…
DON’T WORRY
chadar-takiya lo aur so jao.

Tumhari lovely aankho ne,
Hame aise attract kiya,
Ke sabko neglect karke,
Tumhe hi select kiya.

Tumhari yaad dil se jaane nahi denge,
Tumhare jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,
Roj sharafat se SMS kiya karo warna,
Ek kaan ke niche denge aur rone bhi nahi denge.